i hate blogs.
i'm not good at this. -- 24 DEC 2025
The curse of saying "it's a [frequency] thing!" and then dropping it entirely. Oh well.
I literally kept telling myself for months "damn, I haven't updated my blog in a while, O should work on that" and then I never do. I think it's because by the time I'm home and at my pc, I'm too tired to remember my website exists. Oopsies.
Those heart palpitations I mentioned in the last entry don't really bother me anymore. I've been taking medication to lower my heartrate (it also helps my anxiety. woohoo!) and that's been working like a charm. I went from taking it every day to just sorta...playing it by ear? I just take it whenever i feel like my heartrate is going up. Um. Maybe I should take it daily again though, instead of waiting for things to get bad...
About a month or two ago, I got my driver's license! Finally! For a bit, I was just driving to work and therapy, but in the past week I've been making an effort to drive other places—the fish market, the post office, the arcade, etc... I'm overcoming the fear much more quickly than I expected, ngl... It feels nice, not just because of the freedom/independence to go wherever I please, but because I feel like I'm so much better at coping and conquering my anxiety. It's the kind of thing that makes me feel like I can one day live a happy life.
The tasks...
Oh boy!
So aside from the day job (same one, btw), I have a couple big undertakings ahead of me.
The first one is participation in a chorus battle. Yeah! After ten years of being a crazy little fan, I've finally mustered the courage to join a team. I'm going to be making frame-by-frame animation with an In Stars and Time themed team for RPGmaker Chorus Battle. I'm so nervous, but so excited. Best case scenario, this is a satisfying experience that I get to see through the end, eating up the first half of my 2026. Best best case scenario, it kickstarts a new angle for this incredibly niche interest of mine—chorus battles...but as a participant rather than a spectator!
The other big thing is a game development team challenge with my friends. We're going to be making one game a month for the entire year of 2026! I don't know if it's possible. I hope it is. I know I'm going to try really hard. And squid is going to project manage the team so I'm sure we'll get something done. LMAO
Bolt from the Blue had its fifth anniversary a couple weeks ago, and I really want to kick it into high gear with the writing and polishing... but it kinda isn't going to happen with everything else going on for 2026. That's ok though! I still will make time for my passion project, even if it's not as much as I hoped.
What's fun?
After I finished Visions of Mana, I went on to play In Stars and Time, Flowstone Saga, and Eiyuden Chronicles: Hundred Heroes. Tragically, I wasn't in love with any of these games. I didn't even get very far in Eiyuden before feeling bored of it. I'm not super big on games that I need wikis to play, anyway.
Currently on my to-play list is Pokemon Legends Z-A, which I purchased with a gift card my boss gave me for xmas. My hopes are not high, but I am going to try and enjoy it anyway. Afterwards, I hope to play either Nier: Replicant or Tales of the Abyss. God why the fuck is my backlog full of long ass JRPGs.